Life, Truth, Mental Health – LET'S TALK!

(Sorry beforehand if i ramble on) 😁

I know I write quite a lot about my knee but that has caused the most hassle in my life to date. 

When your younger you get drilled to exercise every day. Or get out and get a hobby something along those lines. But at some point everybody gets hurt playing these silly games or just exercising! I did try to do dance once but I hated every second of it so I knew that wasn’t for me.

I started playing football when I was in year 3/4 which is quite a young age to start but I loved it. I was always an outgoing person and I loved playing sports especially through school. I picked up different hobbies growing up which were Taekwondo which I did well in and got to my blue stripe belt. I loved the competitions as we could have tag team up and I loved getting ready and putting the gloves, head-gear and feet pads on. I didn’t enjoy the exams as they were pretty daunting and I was only about 8/9!!

At the same time I’d be playing football too so I was a pretty outgoing kid who ALWAYS wanted to be outside. Even when I was at home I’d be over my mates over the road building ramps for our bikes and would never wanna come in. 

I then found the sport of Baseball. And that is something I felt like I was good at as I could throw a ball!! Rather well. I played for about 2 years properly in a team (in the uk is RARE) But I quit that because unfortunately it clashed with my football games and that is my passion the most. 

So then carried on playing football until last year, only been in 2 teams in my life which started with Withymoor Colts and now Halas Hawks Ladies. I enjoy it so much because it’s also a release for me as I can completely forget for a bit and all I have to worry about is winning the football match! 

So that is what makes this injury more heart aching because it has restricted me and has changed my life. 

I read my diary yesterday from the day that it happened, and I don’t even need to read it because it’s imprinted in my brain and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day. I see it soooo clearly and how I fell, the pain, the time, day, weather, place and I even flinch and shiver when I do think about that moment. I don’t want to remember it but it is what it is and we all have to carry on. I don’t know whether If i write it down I can deal with it a bit more as I have dealt with it to an extent but I never wanna talk about it because it’s just the same old. 

I am 7 months post op now, and receiving physiotherapy every 2 weeks. It’s easy for physio’s to tell you what to do because they are not on the other end of it. It’s both physically and mentally draining ALL the time and especially during the recovery period because it seems to be taking so long to make improvements. Its taken a step back as its been giving me some grief this past week and its taken me back in time to when I did it and I felt like writing this down so I could look back at it in maybe 5 years when hopefully I’m walking normal, working also, and having got my life back. 

So I’m going to wrap this up now, not sure on the reasoning for this but it just felt like something I needed to do and now its off my chest. 

Thanks for reading 😚